Is it too late to change my challenge?

Like maybe a marathon? Or hiking Mount Everest? Or Machu Pichu? Because at this rate, any of those options would likely be more achievable!! Oh dear....

When I was 31ish I participated in a weight loss program called Weigh Down Workshop, which was also known as Pray Your Weight Away. And I must've prayed a lot, because I lost 50# with that and I got down to 155. Trouble is, it was so little food, that I'm not sure if I could sustain that kind of eating today. And I enjoy eating! And that was almost 10 years ago. I saw the Dr the other day and mentioned my challenge and she was surprised at the goal I had chosen (155-160), and said to consider the fact that "at my age" my metabolism slowed, and it was harder to lose weight period. She talked about BMI and where I was now and where I could be with even a 15# weight loss. She asked if there had been any change in weight since my move (YES! Ugh!) to NY, and said 1lb of extra weight really translates to 3lbs on my joints and muscles.

I've also mentioned the First Place 4 Health program that I've been involved in thru the church, and how I expected it to be pretty much like the Weigh Down Workshop, meaning lose 30 lbs in 3 weeks and all my problems would be over. Well, that aint how it worked out. I did lose anywhere from 3-10 lbs during that time (depending on what I was wearing, what time of day it was, my period, etc....), but even more meaningful was the emphasis on total health and balanced wellness. I realize I've been so insistent on a NUMBER that would make me feel successful, a number on the scale, on my pants, and so when I was at or near that NUMBER I would feel great, and when I was far from that NUMBER I would feel like crap. Like that NUMBER was how I valued myself. I remember reading in Camryn Manheim's book (Wake Up, I'm Fat!) that oftentimes we don't consider the value of being a good friend, funny, intelligent, kind, generous, talented, creative, a good listener, loyal, honest, a great writer, WHATEVER, we're just so consumed with the "fat" label that everything else is forgotten. How sad. But true. I have definitely felt that way - so for me to wake up and realize I am so much more than "fat" was a real breakthru.

Anyway, back to First Place - the idea of the program, definitely not a quick weight loss program, is surrendering your (my) will to God, putting Christ first, and taking care of myself physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. If one is grossly out of balance, the others are negatively affected. So it was a great discipline to decide to daily surrender to Christ, to commit to the Bible study and to prayer, to put exercise into my daily schedule, to really take inventory of emotions and that bloody negative tape that runs thru my mind, defeating all my efforts. While I wish I would have lost more weight during the first 12 week session, I'm really thankful for what I learned about what God wants from me in all areas of my life, not just the physical. It was a good lesson.

So all said, I will definitely make every effort to get to that goal weight, and the treadmill we're getting (soon) will be helpful to that end, but I'm thinking it's more important to appreciate all I have to offer, to stop worrying about numbers, to give myself over to Christ and see what He wants to do with me and thru me, and live a balanced life in all areas. Don't we all want that? Do I sound like a crazy woman? Those are just my thoughts for today.